Back to the Jeans

Have you ever said, 'I'll just run in and .....' and you are going into Wal-Mart?  Well I made that mistake the other day.  I just want to run in and get a pair of jeans.  I thought 'I will get something other than just plain jeans'. You can imagine that it went all downhill from there and you would be right.  Do I want relaxed fit on waist or relaxed fit below waist?  Or do I want loose fit on waist or below waist?  Forget about boot cut, straight leg or full leg.  How about regular fit with full seat and thigh area?  Or would loose fit with full seat and thigh?  And what is this about 'fit below waist'?  I am not trying to draw attention to my gut thank you.  I don't want my jeans to look like I had to get them for support.

Every rack or table of jeans had a new fit or color or style.  It was then I realized that this was not going to be a quick trip.  And I now had a headache.  So I postponed the purchasing to another day and went to Starbucks for a apple fritter and hot chai.  Now I feel better :-)

Fountain

Savannah has numerous squares.  One of the squares is Ellis Square and it has a fountain.  Not a fountain as you would think of, but well here is a picture.

And as you can imagine with city government this fountain has posted rules and regulations.  Please read rule one carefully.

So I guess if you use the buddy system it's ok to bath here?  Or if you get a group and have a group bath.  Just the thoughts that I had immediately when I read this.

I'd like something...

with a 34 waist and hair please.

Are you a rednek?

I was in Wal-Mart yesterday walking around the electronic section.  I heard someone say 'Are u a rednek?'  Well it is obvious I had to turn about to see who was talking and to whom they were speaking too.  The cashier in the electronics department was speaking to a small boy who was sitting inside a cart.  Not the part of the cart where kids sit, but in the basket part.  He was nodding his head in an affirmative matter and without hesitation and feeling the need to verbalize his response he said a hearty 'Yes Mam'.

Well a response of that I clearly had to see the proud parents of this 'rednek'. These parents or birth pod and sperm donor appeared to be in their twenties.  They had another child sitting in the children's sit on the cart.  The proud dad was wearing a sleeveless black t-shirt with some screen print that I could not identify.  Both his arms were covered with tattoos.  Buzzed hair cut. I will admit that I didn't get a good look at his wife, because the last thing you want to do in Wal-Mart is get caught staring at a Rednek's wife.  I believe this deep in the south he would defend her honor to my demise.  "Clean up on Aisle 3".

A further glance into the cart as they wheeled it past me I noticed it had a couple boxes of ceral and softdrinks. Breakfast is served.

Causey Why?

The older I get the more I tend to ask this question.  Then again I also tend to care less about the answer because there is less I can do about some things.  If they say life is what you make of it, when do we know what we made is done?  I mean we know when something we cook is done and projects that require assembly.  When do we know what we have made out of life?  Is it with our last breath?  Is it when we visit a doctor and he tells us the result of out diet.  When it is exactly that we realize what we have made of our lives?  Is there a standard that we must obtain?  Is there a rule about how hard we are suppose to 'apply' ourselves?  If we 'apply' ourselves harder does that equal a happier life?

Why do we judge our lives against accomplishments we have achieved?  Or missed accomplishments?  Why do we judge others by their accomplishments or lack thereof?  Does making one  more dollar make us happier?  Does another plaque on the wall bring peace?  If it does, that is fine.  But why then do we hold others up to the standard we have set for ourselves?

In the 70's it was about doing what makes you happy.  Why was this the theme, because the previous generations were trying to meet expectations and standards set by others.  Generally being parents, siblings or society. You have to meet walk your own road and not the use the GPS of family, friends or society to get to your destination.

We are each the end results of decisions, good, bad and indifferent. Or lack of decisions.  We choose or let life or others choose for us.  Either way those around us will never know the whole situation.  Sometimes we don't actually know the whole situation.  We process our decisions based on our heads, our hearts and what we have learned from previous similar decisions.

Bottom line is we are where we are in life because of the answers to questions we asked 'Causey Why'?  Perhaps not verbally but internally.  We all admit that we struggle with this question in our lives, don't think to know the answer to this question in others.

If you don't like where you are, then change the answer to 'Causey Why'.

What's the deal?

What's the deal with guys wearing 'skinny' jeans.  I mean this sucks on several levels.  First of all if I can't wear them, and I can't, it means I'm not skinny.  Now this may not mean much to you but I have been skinny all my life.  I've heard all the skinny jokes in High School.  I was 5'10" and weighed about 120.  I mean I am dealing with age and now you throw my weight in my face.  Thanks!

So does this mean we give all the clothes we wear or just the ones unwearable by the average human?  Think about it.  We don't have clothes named 'fat jeans'.  I know there is 'phat jeans' but that is not the same thing.  how about 'beer belly shirts'.

I guess I will just put my putter pants on and shut up :-).

Joke

I don't post jokes but this one is so funny to me:

Seniors at Dunkin Donuts

 

A group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments.

 

"My arms have gotten so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one.

 

"Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad; I can't even see my coffee."

 

"I couldn't even mark an "X" at election time, my hands are so crippled," volunteered a third.

 

"What? Speak up! What? I can't hear you!"

 

"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a fourth, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.

 

"My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy!" exclaimed another.

 

"I forget where I am, and where I'm going," said another.

 

"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he slowly shook his head.

 

The others nodded in agreement.

 

"Well, count your Blessings," said a woman cheerfully - - "thank God we can all still drive."

My new phone

It just so happens that yesterday my phone stopped working.  Well not entirely but the slide out keyboard would not let me text.  Remember when phones were just for making calls?  Well I can't have a phone that won't text, I mean like duh!

I had received an email the day before from Verizon saying that I was eligible for an upgrade.  I wonder if there is a connection ?  Regardless I decided to get a new phone.  Off to the Verizon store.  I had been looking at the iPhone online contemplating becoming one of the last humans on the face of the earth to get one.  I know you have an Android or a Black Berry.  I have had both as well. Which made me lean towards the iPhone just because I haven't had one.  That and the fact that I have and iPad which is a big iPhone with the exception that it cannot make calls.  I will admit that I wanted the new Droid Bionic, but it was over $300 and that was with a 2 yr contract.  With the release of the iPhone 4s, not a big deal, the iPhone 4 was only $149.

I do feel a bit more hip when people see I have an I phone.  Also when you tell people you have a Droid you have to go into detail which one you have and why.  I can just say I have an iPhone 4.  Isn't that much simpler?  I am all for the simpler life.

Shopping at Sears

The other day I was killing some time just walking about the mall and looking at the clearance items.  I walked into Sears, don't know why I don't buy anything there.  I guess I went into Sears out of pity.  It is like watching a friend die slowly.  Back in the day it was a cool place to shop, not so much now.  But I digress.

I noticed two men looking a the offering of fine Sears clothes on the clearance racks.  They were, how should I describe them, oh yes....rednecks.  Both had caps on, duh, and one was on the phone.  I presumed he was describing the incredible deals on Craftsman t-shirts he had discovered.  But what caught my attention was the way he held his phone.  His right elbow well at a 45 degree angle.  The mic part of the phone was held away from this mouth yet the speaker was next to his ear.  Imagine his elbow being a fulcrum point.  It was obvious to me this person knew his geometry

I was leaving the area then I hear him say, 'and brang me some underware'.  Like a moth to a flame I was drawn back.  And it continues...
Man:  Yea I said brang me some underware
Me:  please lord don't let me hear him say he doesn't have any on
Man:  Yeah, i don't like these, they ride up and shit
Me:  Didn't he know that when he put them on?
Man:  They are in the undeware drawer
Me:  Wouldn't his wife know this?  Or better yet does he hide them because he doesn't want to share?

At this time his friend asked him, 'Why do you need underware?'.  My first thought again was this crowd usually doesn't wear any underware and it is known by one and all.

Man:  I don't like these

And then I left.  But I did so with several unanswered questions.  Are the fit of the clothes at Sears so precise that they are effected by ill fitting under garments?  Does this group share underware?  Who exactly was he telling where is clean underware was?  Does he hide the good ones?  Was he not at home when he woke up this morning and did he borrow someones?

I should have stayed to see who brought them.....

(Undeware is mispelled on purpose, that is the way he pronounced it.)
 

'It's gonna suck no matter which way I do it'....

I had to order a part for a machine I was repairing for work.  The parts department guy helping me, and he is a good guy, said 'It's gonna suck no matter which way I do it'.  He was talking about which way he got the part to me.  But as soon as he said this, I laughed so hard and immediately told him I was going to borrow it.

I do not have enough digits on my fingers and toes where I said the same thing or at least thought it.  This reminds me when people tell you, 'Just suck it up'. What is it we are sucking up?  Have you ever physically sucked up and done something?  Don't we usually exhale, resign ourselves to do what we have to do?  I usually exhale, say 'ah shit' and then do what needs to be done.  No sucking up there.  I Googled the origin of "suck it up" and found no conclusive answer.  That didn't help.

According to Wikipedia the definition of a saying:  A saying is something that is said, notable in one respect or another, to be "a pithy expression of wisdom or truth."  I don't know about you but I hate it when someone tells me a 'pithy' saying.  It is more like a pissy saying.  If you can't say something original, then just shut the hell up.  What you are actually saying is that you are not original enough to think of something or you just aren't listening and a quick borrowed over used phrase just gets you out of the conversation.

So with no conclusive what we are to suck, how we are to suck, how long we are to suck and when will we know we can stop sucking.  Just stop telling people this shit.  It reflects poorly on you, makes you seem trite and people are just tired of them.  Just deal with it. :-)