I can't make this up

The following is something I wrote over a month ago, perhaps 2 months now.  And they say rednecks are from the south.  The following is absolutely true but the names have been changed to protect...well not the innocent.  Welcome to my world as it was then....

First you have to know the players: 

Step-grandson:  AKA Spanky

Step-grandson’s GF:  AKA The Misses or sleeping beauty.

The other guy living here:  AKA Jethro  (this is where the redneck part starts Jethro is the brother of Spanky’s ex-girlfriend)  (I can’t make this stuff up).  He is the only one gainfully employed and does occasionally buy groceries.

Shed Boy:  Person who wants to rent our shed, friend of Spanky.

Terms you should be aware of:  DKDC – don’t know don’t care

Foreign Aid:  Direct financial aid Spanky and gang

Domestic Aid:  Household expenses

Spanky and The Misses share a room and Jethro has the 3^rd bedroom.  Spanky is unemployed but attending a Technical School to become a Medical office assistant.  The Misses is attending the same school to become –well I don’t really know.  Jethro does not have a car but is transported to work and back and everywhere else by Spanky.    Who is funded by my wife.  I don’t contribute anything to foreign aid except groceries and utilities that is getting cut back.  Spanky had a job working for walmart in the electronics department but was caught stealing.  Well as my wife put it, he didn’t actually steal the iPod.  No he just gave it to someone he knew was going to steal it.  See the difference.  HUH?  Since then he has lived on foreign aid and I do not contribute to foreign aid.

Spanky’s trunk’s two rear side windows, not full size ones, have been broken out and are covered with black duct tape.  His chrome tool box sits about 30 feet from the road and about 10 feet beside his truck.  Clearly visible from the road.  We also have an 89 Ford Bronco with front hitch chained to a tree beside the driveway.  It does not have an engine, no block.  We do have engine parts and the seats in the garage.  It has no top of any type.  This vehicle belongs to The Misses brother, I think.  Spanky drives my wife’s Mitsubishi spyder convertible.  It gets better gas mileage than the truck.  Oh and he has completely removed the exhaust system from the truck.  I don’t know why.  Spanky has a dog but guess who feeds it, takes it out, etc.  Not him and not me.  Hard to take the dog out in the morning when you don’t wake up til noon.

Jethro just appeared one day with Spanky’s truck full of furniture.  I figured he was helping move The Misses furniture here.  Then I discovered he was actually living here in the 3^rd bedroom.  Remember he is Spanky’s ex-GF’s brother.  He does have a dirt bike but has no insurance, no plates and no front light on the motorcycle. 

Shed boy.  One day about a week ago I noticed Spanky cleaning out the shed.  It is a nice brick shed but it has rafters and was built by the original owners in the lowest part of the back yard.  When it rains the shed gets about 2 inches or so in parts of the floor.  It does have electricity but no water, no plumbing, no windows that open.  It has nothing but vermin, bugs and the occasional snake passing thru.  Everything that was in the shed is either leaned up beside the shed, in the bed of Spanky’s truck or in the garage.  And that is how the toilet got in the back yard. I was informed that Shed Boy wanted to rent the shed.  Shed is still empty and no one living there yet, will keep you  updated on this development.

Please feel free to ask questions or for specific pictures.